I will forgive my phone ringing at 6 am when the news is as lovely as the news I got this morning.
I go back to work tomorrow. Part-time for the next four weeks, but still. Flynn will be fine. He and Joshua will have a grand time together. I’m the one who will be counting down the minutes until I can walk back home to him.
I’m pretty sure this isn’t how Dave Gahan meant this, but…
“All I ever wanted/All I ever needed/is right here/in my arms”
I’m getting an early arrival. This little person, creature, adorable parasite has decided that it doesn’t particularly feel like getting any bigger (per the ultrasound I had on Monday it’s only 5 lbs) so the doctors have said it needs to come out. We check in to “The Birthplace” this afternoon at 4:30. Sometime in the next 24-48 hours, or so, Joshua and I will go from 14 years of two-ness, to a threesome with one party requiring ALL the attention.
I’m excited, terrified, totally calm, and totally off the wall about it. Joshua is trying to keep himself calm, but I know at some point I’m going to have to peel him off the ceiling.
And then we’ll come home, we’ll put the baby down in its car seat, and we’ll stare at it. And wait for it to do something. Anything. And we’ll have to deal with it. Not a nurse, not my mum, not some random passerby that we can thrust the baby at and say “Fix it! Make it stop!”
So we wait, for the arrival of Alice or Flynn.
Have I ever mentioned how not patient I am? It’s been a very long 37 weeks, and now it’s time for the next step…
- Less than 12 weeks to go…eep!
- I care far too much about this Veronica Mars movie nonsense
- I cannot get “Suit and Tie” out of my head…good thing? bad thing? not sure.
- My back hurts
- My front hurts
- My sweet tooth is in overdrive
- Even though I am a cold weather person, I am over winter and so ready for Spring.
- Did I mention the whole less than 12 weeks thing? This is starting to weigh heavily…do i have enough onesies? will I be able to nurse? can I teach Joshua how to change a diaper? will the cats try to eat the baby? where in Hell am I going to put all this crap? our apartment isn’t that big!
On the other hand…
- Hey, the Kiddo will be here soon
- So will regular season baseball
- Maternity leave…I don’t even care that I will be completely exhausted and incoherent, I won’t be at work.
- Back porch weather
I hate baby showers. Loathe them. I love babies, love buying my friends and family presents for their lovely kids, but there is nothing worse than a a baby shower.
I dislike the idea of registering for gifts. I understand there is a practical thought behind it, but it leaves me feeling icky so I have refused to do it. After all, one of the many, many reasons we didn’t have a wedding was so I wouldn’t have to suffer through a bridal shower.
People, though, seem to get peeved with me for having these feelings. Actually, forget peeved. Some of them are down right mad. Maybe they think I’m judging them, maybe I am. I just know it’s not something I want. If I had my way no one would give me gifts. They would just be happy for me, maybe come visit, or bother to ask me how I’m feeling.
Alright, enough whining and sounding like a colossal brat. I’m just gearing up for a very LONG two weeks that involve several doctor’s appointments for me, a pre-op and surgery for Joshua (minor surgery, but still), a weird work schedule, and some family issues that keep bubbling on the back burner threatening to boil over, also a brunch with my oldest friends that i fear is actually a stealth shower, hence my babyish whinging.
By the way, yes, I know, first world problems. We should all be so lucky. I am a terrible person at 6 am on a Sunday, maybe always.